


Broken Souls Have The Most Love To Give.

by livvig123



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Death Eater Draco Malfoy, Death Eaters, Depression, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Love, Pureblood Culture (Harry Potter), References to Depression, Romance, Sad, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Insert, Slytherin, Slytherin Reader, Suicide Attempt, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:13:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22869175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livvig123/pseuds/livvig123
Summary: After attempting suicide in the summer before her sixth year, Y/N Y/L/N arrives at Hogwarts late into the school year. Upon seeing the sadness consuming a certain Slytherin boy, she decides that she wants to help him as best as she can. Despite still wanting to die herself.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	Broken Souls Have The Most Love To Give.

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this story will deal with rather heavy topics such as self harm and suicdal idealisation. If you are triggered by these things then please do not continue reading. If you are struggling with any of the topics mentioned in this story please do not hesitate to reach out.  
> UK: Samaritans - 116 123  
> USA: Samaritans - 1(800) 273-TALK

I want to cry. Or scream. Or both. Though neither of which would be appropriate given my current situation.  
The doors to the grand hall tower above me, even through the solid wood I can hear the chatter of students. In all honesty, I never imagined I would be back here. If my plan had gone smoothly, I would be six feet below the ground. Exactly the way I wanted it. Instead, I'm back. Three months into the academic school year and I'm only just returning. Mustering up all the courage I can, I push open the heavy, wooden doors.  
Silence. Each student turns their head to look at me, curiosity in their eyes. It's unusual to say the least. After all students are expected to arrive at Hogwarts on September 1st. Looking down at my shoes, I awkwardly shuffle over to the Slytherin table, taking a place away from the other students. Hushed whispers now fill the room. There's no doubt in my mind that I'm the topic of conversation. It's blatantly obvious. Some students look directly at me as they gossip amongst one another, pointing and whispering. Though I do my best to block out everybody else.  
As always the food looks absolutely delectable and I would definitely devour everything within sight if I was hungry. Which to clarify, I'm not hungry. My eyes dart around the room, picking out familiar faces. Of course my gaze ultimately falls on Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini. Never in my six years at Hogwarts have I spoke a single word to them. Yet I now seem to be the focus of their conversation. Particularly Pansy Parkinson as she mutters quietly to them, the entire time her eyes are locked on me, a smirk present on her face.  
When the feast is over and people begin to retreat back to their dormitories, I finally let out a deep sigh. I'm one of the last to leave the great hall, not wanting to speak to anybody on my walk to my bedroom. As I stand from the table, a hand taps my shoulder. Instinctively I prepare for the worst. Whether that be somebody hurling an insult my way or a punch to my face. When I turn around, I'm shocked to find myself staring at Professor Snape. The head of Slytherin.  
"I do believe we need to have a little chat Miss Y/L/N." His voice is slower than usual, as though he's choosing his words carefully.  
He begins to walk out of the hall and as I begin to trail after him I lock eyes with a certain Slytherin boy. He stays sat at the table, face in the palm of his hand. His once bright eyes are now a dull grey and I know all too well the miserable expression on his face. Draco Malfoy, from what I've heard is a terrible person. Though, from personal experience, nobody deserves to have the light taken from their eyes.  
After arriving at Snape's potions classroom, he takes a seat at his desk and motions for me to take a seat opposite him. We sit in silence for a few minutes, waiting for the right time to say something. Cautiously looking up at the professor, I notice he looks entirely uncomfortable. Brows knitted together as if he is internally debating something. Part of me wants to find out what that thing is, though the other part simply wants to retreat to my dormitory.  
"Dumbledore told me about your situation over the summer." Snape tells me, not daring to make eye contact with me as he speaks. "He thinks it would be for the best if you and I meet once a week to discuss how you're feeling, given that I am your head of house."  
"We really don't have to do that. I'm feeling much better now, honest." I'm lying through my teeth, I'm sure Snape knows that too, he isn't stupid. No matter how big my smile is, my eyes will always give away how I truly feel.  
"Dumbledore knows what he is doing. He doesn't want you to repeat your actions and as a matter of fact neither do I. As uncomfortable as I am with speaking to you about such personal matters, I would be much more satisfied knowing that I have at least attempted to offer you some sort of support." He's tiptoeing around the subject, not directly wanting to bring up the topic at hand for fears of upsetting me. People seem to act that way a lot nowadays.  
"For now, I will let you get some rest. We'll speak again on Friday after classes have finished for the day."  
Nodding my head silently, I tuck the chair under the desk before slowly making my way out of the classroom and towards the Slytherin common room. I tug at the sleeves of my robes subconsciously, even when nobody is around I feel this burning need to hide myself. No matter what I do or say, I never seem to get any better. If anything the hatred I feel towards myself only grows each day.  
Given that most students are usually in their dormitories at this time, I expect the common room to be empty. So when the door swings open, I'm surprised to see Malfoy sat by one of the large windows, staring into the depths of the Black Lake. He doesn't notice my prescence so I take my time to fully absorb his appearance. The boy has most definitely changed since I last saw him. Although his skin was once a pale white, it looks even paler with grey undertones that cause him to look rather sickly. His eyes are empty and hollow, dark circles beneath them are evidence of his lack of sleep. Which may explain why he is in the common room rather than his bedroom. The Slytherin has obviously lost weight, looking like a walking skeleton in contrast with his once slender frame. Even his hair, previously immaculately styled now looks as though it's lucky to have even been washed. He's a shadow of his former self.  
I carefully make my way towards him, doing my best not to scare him. He watches me as I sit down opposite him, folding my legs beneath me. Smiling gently, I do my best to make it look believable. To make it look like I can be even slightly happy. Draco's eyes focus on me. The way my school robes are too big, hanging off my frame in a way that makes me look almost homeless. He notices the bones protruding from my knees and the skeletal look of my fingers. He sees the similar emptiness in my eyes and I know he doesn't feel so alone anymore.  
"I know that we've never had a conversation before, but I had to come over. You don't look good, you don't have to talk to me or anyone if you don't want to. As long as you know that I'm here for you." I tell him, looking into the murky water of the lake so that I don't have to look into his eyes.  
He stays silent. So do I. We stay like this for what feels like years when in reality it may only have been several minutes. I'm about to stand up and head to my bedroom when Draco's hand takes hold of mine. His grip is loose and his hand is cold but he still holds my hand in his.  
"I'm not ready to talk about it just yet, but when I am you'll be the first to know. You're the only person that really cares anyway." His voice is hoarse as though he's been crying and it takes everything in me not to engulf him in a hug then and there.  
"I should be going up to bed, I'll see you in the morning?" I say, almost as though I'm asking for his permission. I'm not really sure why I do this but I do.  
"Stay." He whispers, voice so quiet I almost don't catch it. When he looks up at me again, I notice the unshed tears in his eyes. "Please stay."  
Squeezing his hand, I rest my back against the wall, simply watching the boy as silent tears roll down his cheeks. The only think I'm able to do is pray that he's going to be okay and spend the night holding his hands in mine.


End file.
